By Danny Choo
I've been in desperate need of a clone to help out for many moons now. While work is fun, there's not much time to relax which is important to maintain a good self.
Then one day I got wind of a place in Akihabara called Clone Factory. Went along to get my clone made and at the same time film what goes on for Culture Japan but didn't quite get the clone that I was looking for...
Outside Akihabara station on the way to Clone Factory.
Arrival at Clone Factory. A chair in the middle of the room is surrounded by digital SLR's - some on the ceiling too.
One side of the room has some 3D stuff going on.
Time to start the cloning process. First off I need to sit still in that chair for a few seconds.
Danny : "A *what* is going to be inserted in my where?"
Then before I could say "But I don't fancy a foreign object shoved up my b..." all the cameras start to trigger in a loop with some rays of wot not taking slices of measurements.
During the cloning process, ones soul can be seen exiting the body via the mouth. This is because the Mayans said that a single soul should not coexist in the same time and space. The device up the bottom is a SEU95 (Soul Expulsion Unit) that temporarily expels the soul outside the body for 0.955756 seconds.
All measurements and stats have been taken and are mished n mashed up using a state of the art Dell...
No that's not bashing Dell because I owned one too - which I gave to somebody I didn't like.
They need a while to prepare my data but what normally happens is that a 3D model of the subject is created from all the stats taken in the cloning process.
This is the boss of Clone Factory kaneko-san together with his clone.
Kaneko-san shows us how the SEU95 is inserted in the back orifice. Clone subjects have the choice of having this inserted in the front orifice (dolphin) too.
Once all the data is prepared, its time to print out the clone and that's done with the ZPrinter 650.
The printer has a tray of plaster where the clone is born. You can see the ink cartridges near the top.
The clones are printed using layers of ink which harden in the plaster. When the process is complete, the tray of plaster remains completely unchanged on the surface - we've already poked about with this one though.
This is what objects look like after printing. The remaining powdery plaster needs to be removed.
Next to the printer is another machine which handles the removal of excess plaster.
The machine makes sure that powder doesn't go all over the place when a jet of air is used to clean the object. If you breathe in the powder then it will clog up your lungs and cause death. But you will get a nice plaster cast of your lungs which is nice I guess.
Constant stream of air shoots out of this thingy. Possibly painful if you point it at your eye or other private parts.
Examples of some clones born at Clone Factory. You can see how these ladies looked like in their original 3D form at the Clone Factory site.
One of the reasons why the boss wanted to offer this cloning service is so that folks can preserve that special (some call it "unfortunate") moment in life - getting married or wot not. They would clone the makeup, hairstyle and dress worn at the time too.
This cloning product is called Jibun-san [自分さん] which roughly translated as "Me" ^^;
Folks who want their own clone can contact Clone Factory to reserve a cloning session. They need a few days to prep your clone so if you are visiting Tokyo and want to take it back with you then book at the beginning of your trip. Don't forget to prepare 138,000 yen for your clone ^^;
Clone Factory can clone pretty much any solid object and could even do Saber if I asked ^^;
Other clones in the office including the chap in gold who is Go Hiromi. For folks who have seen this episode of Culture Japan and didn't get the joke - its because he often shouts "Go!"
Some Vocaloid and Tohou printouts.
As you may be able to make out, the surface of the printed objects are a bit rough which is due to the limitations of the printer. Smoother surfaces can be gained by more expensive printers ^^
The other 3D printer which you already have seen is the Digital Wax that can print baby smooth surfaces.
The final product is then covered in some sort of top coat to protect the surface.
Which would you like to wake up beside to?
Ready to run off to more filming around Akihabara.
Quick snap with the clone factory team before heading off. My collars are folded underneath my shirt for the cloning process but completely forgot and continued filming in Akihabara like that ><
Next location is the Radio Kaikan.
A few days later, my clone is ready! My producer stuck the head on a stormtrooper body for me ^^;
Now all that's left is to get him to do some work - any of the following from my daily schedule.
TV production, Final Cut editing, blogging, meetings, working with illustrators, account management for our clients, artwork in Fireworks/Photoshop/Illustrator, preparing Keynotes, web UI design, new client acquisition, hoovering, toilet cleaning.
Unfortunately my clone doesn't seem to do much work and instead prefers to play with the girls in the office. I'm sure they should have left the soul in when making the copy.
Danny Clone : "Hmmmm, too big. But those eyes would make a lovely pillow."
Saber : "Get out of my face before I shove this melon pan up your tiny orifice and then make you eat it after."
Danny Clone : "....."
Clone sized Mirai doll : "Your hand is cold..."